Sonship Week Vignette 2--I Need an Interpreter

Every day during Sonship Week the staff would gather for a staff meeting and prayer while the conference participants were in one of their small groups.  Even at the best of times, I hate going to meetings.  And the only thing worse that going to a meeting is having to lead a meeting.

Everyone else gets to laugh and joke and relax.  I on the other hand am furiously scribbling notes for things to remember to mention, watching the clock so that we have enough time to pray and then get down to lunch before the lines get too long, and generally trying to figure out how to lead a group of folks who are all generally a good deal older than I am.  Even without the stresses of the week, I'd be pretty close to over my head in that sort of situation.  I like calm.  I like order.  I like having enough time to carefully consider things.  Sonship Week staff meetings (by their very nature) have none of those things.

At one meeting, I introduced a topic that needed a decision, listened for about .8 seconds and then moved on mentally to the next thing I needed to remember to say.  As the discussion swirled around me, I was lost in my own little world, and when the conversation finally came to a halt, I summarized the group's decision.  Except that I didn't.

As I was moving on to the next topic, Jennifer kindly placed one hand on my knee and said, "Patric, I don't think you were really listening to what the group was saying."  (Uncanny how she was able to spot this so quickly, since I never fail to listen to her while she is talking!)  Indeed, I had gotten the gist of the conversation exactly wrong, and without Jennifer's kind intervention I would have continued to tromp straight ahead with my own plans and agenda.  The group had a good laugh and several folks asked if Jennifer could come to all of our meetings back in Philadelphia to interpret for me.

It's amazing to me how that scenario so closely resembles so much of my prayer life.  It isn't that I don't talk to God.  I talk all the time.  But like the guy who is running a staff meeting, I simply move through my list, being sure that I mention what I think is so needful, and very rarely pausing for a response, let alone sitting still long enough to listen.  The funny thing is that I always think rushing more quickly will provide the space and time my soul craves and it never does.  When it comes to our spiritual lives (or even just leading meetings) velocity is antithetical to relationship, and most of the time it feels like my life is all about the velocity.