Princeton, NYC, and Oh No...

I'm not OK with what I'm about to write.  I'm not OK with it because I'm proving to be a fiercely independent, willful, trust-my-own-gifts sort of guy, way more than I realized.  But...  I know that my pride is a false pride, and my Savior's love is a true love.  So here goes.  

I'm desperate.  

Again.  

For your prayers. 

This weekend I and a couple of team mates from WHM will be traveling to Princeton Seminary to lead a weekend retreat for a group of talented young, urban professionals from Redeemer Presbyterian in Manhattan NY.  Maybe it's just because I'm turning 38 in a few weeks and all of the people coming to the retreat are at least 10 year younger than me.  Or maybe it's because these guys have a pretty smart, pretty famous pastor (some guy named Tim Keller; I've personally never heard of him ;-), and the idea that I could actually help them spiritually seems a little absurd.  But whatever it is, I have the "fear of man" disease and I have it bad. 

So... would you please, please, please pray for me?  

• Not that I would do a good job (though I want to).  
  
• Not that I would impress the folks from Redeemer or my teammates (though I'd like to).  
  
• And not that I would feel great about what my teaching when it's all over (though that would make Monday feel better.)  

Would you pray that I would continue to see my desperate need for Christ to define my identity and the my growing hunger to see the Holy Spirit really work and have folks barely notice me as being the blessings that they really are?  

I have to admit I'm much more inclined to think of blessings as being the good things in life that make my life easier or add to my reputation in good ways (though not too good--that just spoils things).  But the truth is that God is working through my busy schedule, and through invitations to minister to folks that I'm really not equipped to minister to, and through me having to confront just how much I've relied on people liking my teaching to develop my identity.

I'm not sure how much more blessing like  this I can take, but I do trust God even when he is being severe in his mercy.  I'll be away all day Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so anytime God brings me to mind, please pray!!