Relaxed Intensity

Thanks to all of you who prayed for my week long retreat regarding spiritual formation and leadership issues.  It was a GREAT week.  The best description was that it was a time of "relaxed intensity."  

Every day we set aside time to meditate through scripture together and pray, catch up and talk about the day to day vagaries of being in Christian leadership, and then have intentional times of concretely inviting the others into our lives and struggles.  

We adopted an event oriented schedule where we moved from event to event, letting each event unfold fully before we moved on, regardless of time.  So for 3, non-super-high-extrovert types, having some form of non-stop conversation from 9am to midnight each night was fairly intense.

I can't tell you how important such time is for my soul, and dare I suggest it, for the other spiritual leaders in your life.  Leaders carry unique burdens because of their role as leaders. Throw some personal insecurity and normal "flesh" issues in and then mix that with the demands of family, others and the seeming never ending stream of criticism, complaining or orneriness that is part of the package and you have a context which over years and decades can erode one's soul.  

So thanks for praying for me and others, and if you ever get the chance, let me encourage you to encourage the spiritual leaders in your life to do the same.  They probably need it, even if they don't know it yet.

Speed Kills

One of the truths of the spiritual life, is that over time, speed kills. Being too busy for too long, running too hard too regularly or failing to heed Jesus' own patterns of engagement and withdrawal from ministry are all dangerous patterns.

This week, with the encouragement of my supervisor and other mentors, I'll be taking a week to "work differently" as I attend a leadership & spiritual formation retreat with a couple other 30-something leaders. In the 2 years since I started raising support to join the WHM family, I've had precious little time for personal and professional reflection in a setting organized around a rhythm of listening, silence and prayer.

If God brings us to mind this next week would you pray for 2 things?

1) Please pray for Jennifer and Parker--Jennifer is a great single parent, but it gets old for her after a while, and while I will definitely miss them, part of the purpose of my time away is to have space to listen for God's leading away from the normal routines of family.

2) Please pray that the speed and busy-ness of my last few months can be left behind and that the days I'll spend with others praying for me, speaking into my life, and pointing me to Jesus will provide a sense of refreshment far beyond what a few days away could normally bring.

Marriage (Part 3) | Five Types of Beauty

Thanks so much for praying for us again.  I wanted to give you a short update this week, even though things are little crazy this week with new candidates visiting at WHM.

Last week was a week of contrasts and complements for me.  Having time away from Jennifer and Parker always helps me "reset my love clock" for them.  Here were a few of the things I saw last week that struck me as beautiful.

1. Overwhelming Physical Splendor--The Monterey peninsula in N. CA is just drop dead gorgeous.  Famous golf courses, towering cliffs, waves crashing on rocks, enormous sand dunes, capering seals, giant kelp... it's got it all.  As a "non-nature guy" I was overwhelmed by God's creativity and artistry.
   
2. Simple Things, Often Overlooked--As I was walking on the rocks and on the beach I just kept noticing little fascinating details.  Nothing as jaw dropping as the things listed above, but I had a sense that the type of beauty God creates in our world is "scaleable."  No matter how big, or how small, there is an intricacy to God's handiwork that is overwhelming. 
3. The Struggle to Live Authentically--I was deeply touched time and time again as our retreat speakers, and those attending were willing to open their lives--the good, the hard, the painful, the beautifully broken being redeemed by Jesus--to us.  There is a strange beauty that comes from a soul being mastered by Christ and broken on the crux of his love, so that it can become more humble and reliant.  I got to be part of that last week in some tender ways.
4. Laughter--As always at a World Harvest event, there was plenty of conversation, tears and laughter.  I'm amazed at how the most plain people temporarily shed the mortal disguise we so readily wear when genuine mirth and laughter comes out of them.  I count it a sacred duty to help others laugh.  
5. A Tearful Wife and Fever Filled Little Boy--It was hard on Jennifer and Parker to let me go last week.  There were tinges of the "old loneliness" that returned for Jennifer, and Parker was sick this last weekend.  The beauty though came from hearing Jennifer point herself to Jesus as her only hope, and from hearing my hoarse little boy clamor "Daddy, Daddy" when I rolled in on Saturday am at 7:30, and then again during the weekend when he was tender and cuddly in the midst of a fever.

Those were the five ways I experienced beauty last week.  The sixth, but not confined to last week, is in your prayers.  I truly appreciate the way you continue to uphold us in your thoughts and prayers.

Thank you.

Marriage (part 2)

(Please see the previous post for the first 2 requests)

Big Prayer Requests for Marriage in Ministry Conference:

1) Satan is definitely at it again. In the midst of the rush of last minute details and preparation, I've seen tell tale signs of his work. I've got another cold. This past fall/winter I think I've actually been sick more than I've been well. Nothing huge, but at the moment I don't have much of a voice. So please pray that I'd still be able to work well and that the 6.5 hour flight doesn't completely sap my remaining energy and ability to speak. Also all of the travel of the last few months has gotten Jen and I a little out of sync. Pray that I'd really die to self and love my bride well this week, even as I leave to minister to other couples.

2) Pray for Jennifer while I'm gone. She's working on our taxes, general household chores, our never ending list of home repairs, and taking care of Parker without the break that daddy can give when he gets home from work and lets the cub pounce on him for a while. She's truly a remarkable woman.

3) Pray for the couples who are coming. Even though I don't "know" most of them, we've gathered enough information to know that there will be hurting ministry couples there. Pray that God's Spirit would work mightily in their lives, in ways that would be beyond just what a 2- day retreat would normally be able to provide. I have so much compassion and love for ministry folk, and most of the time, I feel that I have so little to offer. (Which is good reminder that I don't actually have ANYTHING to offer, other than the Gospel.)

And because I just know that you are dying to see the rest of the top ten list that I posted last time, here it is in it's entirety. (Remember that this was written as advice to a childhood friend who was getting married, based on my own marital experience.)

Patric’s Top Ten Tips for Enjoying the Marital State:

10) There is one and only one proper response to the question, “Does this make my butt look big?” Said with feeling and a straight face:“By all that is holy and right in the world, not at all!!” I know that saying, “Yes, but I love you anyway” really seems like a winner, but trust me it isn’t.

9) Despite early appearances, it is possible for a married man to find complete satisfaction in only having 1/100th the closet space that his wife does. She's going to throw away all of your favorite jeans and sweatshirts anyway, so you'll probably need a lot less space than you think you do.

8) Flush.

7) “If you are going to the fridge could you get me another beer,” does not in fact count as meaningful conversation. (Who knew?)

6) Your mother-in-law is a wonderful person. (Keep saying this until you start to believe it. Just kidding folks!! MY mother-in-law is truly a wonderful person! [Nudge, Nudge. Wink, Wink. See how easy it is.])

5) Put the seat down. Always. (I still don’t know why this is so hard for the opposite sex to check for themselves, after all guys can’t just “let ‘er rip” without checking to see if the lid is up, but you’re going to have to make some concessions, so you may as well start now.)

4) You should just know right now that while there will be no end to the things you must learn how to do, or not do as the case may be, in order to become a better husband, wives don’t have to change a darn thing. (Actually wanted to use a different word in that last sentence, but Jennifer doesn't allow me to say it anymore.)

3) A loving pet will buy you between 3-6 years (or 11 in my case!!) before she really starts pestering you for a kid of your own. Until then, keep her well away from any babies. They look harmless, but they aren't.

2) There is no shame in purchasing “feminine hygiene products” in public. (Keep repeating like the mother-in-law mantra.)

If you've already been offended so far, I'd suggest you just skip this last one.

1) There is no difference between your wife’s good cooking and her bad cooking if you still want to keep having sex. It’s all gooood!! ;-)