Marriage (part 2)

(Please see the previous post for the first 2 requests)

Big Prayer Requests for Marriage in Ministry Conference:

1) Satan is definitely at it again. In the midst of the rush of last minute details and preparation, I've seen tell tale signs of his work. I've got another cold. This past fall/winter I think I've actually been sick more than I've been well. Nothing huge, but at the moment I don't have much of a voice. So please pray that I'd still be able to work well and that the 6.5 hour flight doesn't completely sap my remaining energy and ability to speak. Also all of the travel of the last few months has gotten Jen and I a little out of sync. Pray that I'd really die to self and love my bride well this week, even as I leave to minister to other couples.

2) Pray for Jennifer while I'm gone. She's working on our taxes, general household chores, our never ending list of home repairs, and taking care of Parker without the break that daddy can give when he gets home from work and lets the cub pounce on him for a while. She's truly a remarkable woman.

3) Pray for the couples who are coming. Even though I don't "know" most of them, we've gathered enough information to know that there will be hurting ministry couples there. Pray that God's Spirit would work mightily in their lives, in ways that would be beyond just what a 2- day retreat would normally be able to provide. I have so much compassion and love for ministry folk, and most of the time, I feel that I have so little to offer. (Which is good reminder that I don't actually have ANYTHING to offer, other than the Gospel.)

And because I just know that you are dying to see the rest of the top ten list that I posted last time, here it is in it's entirety. (Remember that this was written as advice to a childhood friend who was getting married, based on my own marital experience.)

Patric’s Top Ten Tips for Enjoying the Marital State:

10) There is one and only one proper response to the question, “Does this make my butt look big?” Said with feeling and a straight face:“By all that is holy and right in the world, not at all!!” I know that saying, “Yes, but I love you anyway” really seems like a winner, but trust me it isn’t.

9) Despite early appearances, it is possible for a married man to find complete satisfaction in only having 1/100th the closet space that his wife does. She's going to throw away all of your favorite jeans and sweatshirts anyway, so you'll probably need a lot less space than you think you do.

8) Flush.

7) “If you are going to the fridge could you get me another beer,” does not in fact count as meaningful conversation. (Who knew?)

6) Your mother-in-law is a wonderful person. (Keep saying this until you start to believe it. Just kidding folks!! MY mother-in-law is truly a wonderful person! [Nudge, Nudge. Wink, Wink. See how easy it is.])

5) Put the seat down. Always. (I still don’t know why this is so hard for the opposite sex to check for themselves, after all guys can’t just “let ‘er rip” without checking to see if the lid is up, but you’re going to have to make some concessions, so you may as well start now.)

4) You should just know right now that while there will be no end to the things you must learn how to do, or not do as the case may be, in order to become a better husband, wives don’t have to change a darn thing. (Actually wanted to use a different word in that last sentence, but Jennifer doesn't allow me to say it anymore.)

3) A loving pet will buy you between 3-6 years (or 11 in my case!!) before she really starts pestering you for a kid of your own. Until then, keep her well away from any babies. They look harmless, but they aren't.

2) There is no shame in purchasing “feminine hygiene products” in public. (Keep repeating like the mother-in-law mantra.)

If you've already been offended so far, I'd suggest you just skip this last one.

1) There is no difference between your wife’s good cooking and her bad cooking if you still want to keep having sex. It’s all gooood!! ;-)